Have you ever felt or said any of the following?
- When I get angry I just can't control myself.
- Well you've got to stand up for yourself, haven't you, otherwise they walk all over you.
- Sometimes when we argue, I shout and my partner is afraid of me.
- I don't know, a few drinks and things just get a bit out of hand.
- I don't know what he/she means. I've never hit him/her. I just pushed him/her and he/she fell over.
- It's all very well for you to talk about me being abusive - you don't know what I have to put up with.
If you find you check up on your partner or ex-partner frequently (listening to their phone conversations, checking their car mileage, emails, texts), if you frequently put your partner or ex-partner down (calling them names, criticising them , humiliating them), if you try to control your partner or ex-partner (telling them whom they can or can't see, where they can and can't go, what they can or can't wear), if your partner or ex-partner is afraid of what you will say or do, if you are being physically violent, emotionally abusing your partner, intimidating your partner, sexually abusing your partner - you are behaving abusively.